What Not to Say

I stumbled across this and totally loved it. (Yes, he's a single father of an adopted son. And he's brilliant.)

Single Dad Laughing's Guide to Adoption Etiquette

SDL does drop a few inappropriate words, but I loved his message. He's so candid and real about his responses.

I took stock of how whether or not I'd heard these things and here is what I came up with.

1. Never heard this one. I have had interested persons ask me how much it cost to adopt, which I was happy to answer. But I've never had someone ask me "how much my kid cost."
2. Never heard this one either. I'd probably laugh.
3. I've heard versions of this. And yes, I had to suppress the urge to hit something.
4. Oh boy. If I had a dime for every time I heard this...
5. Yes.
6. No.
7. Yes.
8. Yes. And while they are just trying to be nice, I do agree. I don't look at pregnant women and say, "You're so good to give birth." We're all just parents, and our children come to our families however they're supposed to.
9. I got the horrible adoption stories. It boggles my mind why someone would do this. It's like telling a pregnant women horrible miscarriage stories.
10. Never heard this, but Seth is still young. I usually hear, "Is it hard for you that he's adopted?"
11. Heard these stories too. It always made me feel guilty that we were able to adopt. And the last thing I want to feel when looking at my son is guilt.

The thing I like to remember when dealing with stupid or hurtful comments is usually the offender just doesn't know any better. They're not trying to be rude (most of the time), they're just ignorant. I can cut them a little slack, and it helps with my anger management.