I wonder

I sometimes wonder what people think when I talk about S's adoption.

I often mention his birth parents in casual conversation - when people comment about how big he is, I tell him his birth parents are both tall. It's amazing how many people make reference to pregnancy when they see you have a baby. They ask about gaining baby weight, being pregnant and going to college, having heart burn, all kinds of things. I just say, "Well, he's adopted, so I don't know." Most often they get that look on their face. The same kind of look I had when I was a freshman in college and asked a girl in my math class if her mom was coming for Mother's Week. She told me her mom was dead. I was so embarrassed and felt horrible, but how was I supposed to know?

Adoption isn't a bad word. I try to be lighthearted or make a joke so the person doesn't feel bad. I never want someone to feel guilty or embarrassed for asking me about adoption. It's a part of life, and more importantly it's a part of our life.

The one thing that I am curious about is what people think. When you tell someone you've adopted, you are basically announcing to complete strangers that there is a reason you had to adopt, whether it be health issues or infertility. No one ever asks, but I wonder what they think.