Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I Wish...

that this were an annoucement post. We thought it would be. We had a baby...2 actually, born 2 weeks ago. Twin girls. We had names. And car seats. And a nursery. But no babies. We are 99% sure they are not going to be ours and our hearts are broken, again.

Our agency has called to have us redo our fingerprints FIVE times. They can't decide who's they need, mine or my husband's.

At this point I just can't deal. I am ready to be done. Put it all away and forget about it. But I can't. I know that. As much as I want to guard my heart and the hearts of my loved ones, I know that I am supposed to keep fighting. And I will. After I finish crying.

4 comments:

Deborah said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry. I would be beyond frustrated with the agency. Are they all volunteers like they are here? Or do they actually get paid. If they get paid then I might complain.

I wish there was something I could do for you. We are still praying for you. I hope it helps at least a little.

Love you.

Gina DeMarco said...

That is so frustrating! I do not know if I would be able to leave my room for at least a week. I feel so bad, because it's not fair! But I do know that what Heavenly Father has planned for you will be perfect for your family. Remember, as unbelievebale hard as it is, your tears are not in vain. You have revelation from Heavenly Father. Hold onto that, grip tight, don't let Satan take that from you. I wish I could do more than type words on a comment page on a blog. I wish I knew a baby that could be yours. Thanfully, Heavenly Father know where that baby is. You are all in our prayers.

The Youngs said...

My heart aches for you guys. I just couldn't believe it when you told me. :( I know how much a mother can long for a baby, and I cannot imagine thinking you finally have that chance and then feeling it taken away from you. I think you guys are so strong and brave to keep going through things with your heads held high. I think of you guys always, and hope and pray Heavenly Father blesses you with a sweet little one soon. Please let me know if there's anything I can do!

Calista said...

Hanna I had no idea. I cried for you a few months ago, and am tearing up again. I wish there was something I could do to help! I know we don't really know each other, and that talking to an almost complete stranger is awkward, but if you really ever need anything, please know that we're here for you and Daniel (and Brinley).
Many prayers and hopeful wishes,
Calista