I sometimes wonder what people think when I talk about S's adoption.
I often mention his birth parents in casual conversation - when people comment about how big he is, I tell him his birth parents are both tall. It's amazing how many people make reference to pregnancy when they see you have a baby. They ask about gaining baby weight, being pregnant and going to college, having heart burn, all kinds of things. I just say, "Well, he's adopted, so I don't know." Most often they get that look on their face. The same kind of look I had when I was a freshman in college and asked a girl in my math class if her mom was coming for Mother's Week. She told me her mom was dead. I was so embarrassed and felt horrible, but how was I supposed to know?
Adoption isn't a bad word. I try to be lighthearted or make a joke so the person doesn't feel bad. I never want someone to feel guilty or embarrassed for asking me about adoption. It's a part of life, and more importantly it's a part of our life.
The one thing that I am curious about is what people think. When you tell someone you've adopted, you are basically announcing to complete strangers that there is a reason you had to adopt, whether it be health issues or infertility. No one ever asks, but I wonder what they think.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Helps
I recently came across a website and blog that I love.
The website, http://www.parenthoodforme.org/, has resources for infertility, adoption, parenthood in general. Their motto is "everyone deserves parenthood" so they have helps on how to either overcome infertility or adopt.
The neat thing about them is they offer grants for adopting couples and couples going through medical and fertility treatments. Nice! Most of us know how daunting those bills can be when you are going through so much other emotion in addition.
Their blog, http://parenthoodforme.blogspot.com/, has articles and real life stories. It's just a neat blog to look through. There was an awesome post about fertility a few days ago that I just love. You can find it here. I love feeling like I'm not alone.
I think what I like the most about these sites is that they're all for medical treatment and adoption, because we deserve parenthood either way.
And, if you are in the helping mood, I have a good friend who is hoping to adopt. She has found a fun way to try to help finance that adoption. If you are interested in helping, you can find her blog here: http://www.adoptablanket.blogspot.com/ I have already bought one of her darling blankets as a gift, and it was perfect.
If you know of any other helpful websites please let us know so we can all share the wealth.
The website, http://www.parenthoodforme.org/, has resources for infertility, adoption, parenthood in general. Their motto is "everyone deserves parenthood" so they have helps on how to either overcome infertility or adopt.
The neat thing about them is they offer grants for adopting couples and couples going through medical and fertility treatments. Nice! Most of us know how daunting those bills can be when you are going through so much other emotion in addition.
Their blog, http://parenthoodforme.blogspot.com/, has articles and real life stories. It's just a neat blog to look through. There was an awesome post about fertility a few days ago that I just love. You can find it here. I love feeling like I'm not alone.
I think what I like the most about these sites is that they're all for medical treatment and adoption, because we deserve parenthood either way.
And, if you are in the helping mood, I have a good friend who is hoping to adopt. She has found a fun way to try to help finance that adoption. If you are interested in helping, you can find her blog here: http://www.adoptablanket.blogspot.com/ I have already bought one of her darling blankets as a gift, and it was perfect.
If you know of any other helpful websites please let us know so we can all share the wealth.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Quotes
I love quotes! It's nice to have someone put in to words exactly how you feel or what you need to hear. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Faith in God includes Faith in His Timing." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"Those who never give up will find that God never gave up and that He will help them." - President Henry B. Eyring
Adoption is when a child grows in his parents' hearts instead of his mother's tummy. - Unknown
Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days. - Doctrine and Covenants 24:8
Hanna has some great quotes on the side bar also.
Any other quotes that are too good not to share? Don't be shy! They don't have to be about adoption, but life in general. We are all in this together, you know.
"Faith in God includes Faith in His Timing." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"Those who never give up will find that God never gave up and that He will help them." - President Henry B. Eyring
Adoption is when a child grows in his parents' hearts instead of his mother's tummy. - Unknown
Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days. - Doctrine and Covenants 24:8
Hanna has some great quotes on the side bar also.
Any other quotes that are too good not to share? Don't be shy! They don't have to be about adoption, but life in general. We are all in this together, you know.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Adoption Music Reviews
Just like the adoption book list, I only buy my favorites of adoption music. There are many wonderful songs and cds available, I'm sure that simply don't relate to our experiences.
The 3 that I would recommend are:
1. From God's Arms by Michael Mclean.
This is a book/cd combo pack and it is beautiful! There are touching pictures and the lyrics printed out in the book, as well as some background info on the songs. This cd has a song from the adoptive parents point of view, birthmom's and child's. It also has a some neat songs about how a family is created through adoption.
2. Chosen
This is a beautiful cd full of a lot of songs from all view points. There are songs for a couple waiting too, which is neat. My favorite one on there talks about how Joseph "adopted" Jesus as his own. (Delivery, track 3)
It's a beautiful cd at a very reasonable price, just click on the link, Chosen above to order.
3. Do You Have a Little Love to Share
This is a good cd, but only a handful of the songs related to domestic adoption. So, it would be great for foster care adoptions, step-parent adoptions, special needs adoptions, etc. The title song is beautiful and makes you think about the question, "Do you have a little love to share? Can you find it in your heart to care?"
Do YOU have a favorite adoption cd or song? I'd love to hear it if you do!
The 3 that I would recommend are:
1. From God's Arms by Michael Mclean.
This is a book/cd combo pack and it is beautiful! There are touching pictures and the lyrics printed out in the book, as well as some background info on the songs. This cd has a song from the adoptive parents point of view, birthmom's and child's. It also has a some neat songs about how a family is created through adoption.
2. Chosen
This is a beautiful cd full of a lot of songs from all view points. There are songs for a couple waiting too, which is neat. My favorite one on there talks about how Joseph "adopted" Jesus as his own. (Delivery, track 3)
It's a beautiful cd at a very reasonable price, just click on the link, Chosen above to order.
3. Do You Have a Little Love to Share
This is a good cd, but only a handful of the songs related to domestic adoption. So, it would be great for foster care adoptions, step-parent adoptions, special needs adoptions, etc. The title song is beautiful and makes you think about the question, "Do you have a little love to share? Can you find it in your heart to care?"
Do YOU have a favorite adoption cd or song? I'd love to hear it if you do!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Adoption Book Reviews
We only have a handful of adoption books for children, but the ones we do own WE LOVE!
1. A Blessing From Above by Patti Henderson-(a Golden Book)
This is one of the first adoption books I was introduced to, before I knew that we would adopt. I remember reading it (crying) and saying, "okay, I think this is what we're going to do!" (It was one of many little experiences that helped us begin on this journey)
The story is about a mother kangaroo who has an empty pouch and prays everyday for a baby to fill it. She is sitting under a tree one day when a baby bluebird falls out of his nest into her pouch. The bird's mother knew that she couldn't take care of her baby, but that he would be loved. It says that every night after that the baby bluebird and his mom thank God that they found each other. (Tears!)
Although the baby is a boy, you could easily substitute that!
2. God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergen (Harper Collins Publishing)
This book is written by the woman who wrote the popular children's books "God Gave Us You" and "God Gave Us Two". It just came out at the end of 2009. Her books are very sweet and she uses parents telling their kids "their" stories to explain things. She discusses how God brought them together and how they prayed and prayed for their baby to come to them. The child in God Found Us You is a boy, but once again, easily substituted.
3. I Don't Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze (EMK Press)
This is really neat book about how we may look different on the outside, but "in our hearts we are the same". The illustrations suggest that most of the children are a different race than their family, but the words could work for any adoption situation. My favorite lines in the book are, "I don't have you knees...but I have learned your way of giving thanks on mine."
This one has boys and girls in it.
4. Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lynn Curtis (Joanna Cotler Books)
My first introduction to adoption (that I could truly understand and appreciate) probably came when I was 13 or 14 and began babysitting 2 sweet little girls. Their family made it clear that the girls were adopted...and it was no secret or anything to be ashamed of. I loved that about them! They had this book and I read it to them on several occasions. Years later, I found the mother of those girls again and asked her HOW to go about adopting. She has been a source of inspiration and help along the way. I admire their family's approach to talking about adoption, it's one that we will take as well; very open and honest and LOVING.
The little girl in this story asks her parents every night to tell her, again, about the night she was born. They talk about her mom and dad getting the phone call in the middle of the night and flying to get her. The author is very honest about the feelings that come along with all of the "firsts" and the journey to get her baby. I love the illustrations too!
5. The Lambaroo by Diana Kimpton (Gingham Dog Press)
This book is my all time favorite book about adoption. It's a book about our differences and the love that makes us a family. I love it!!! And I think the illustrations are some of the cutest I've ever seen.
*I would highly recommend borrowing books from the library or trying to read excerpts online before purchasing. I have found several books that I have found offensive in the terms they use (like "new mom" and "old mom") or they simply don't relate to our domestic adoptions.
Happy Reading!
1. A Blessing From Above by Patti Henderson-(a Golden Book)
This is one of the first adoption books I was introduced to, before I knew that we would adopt. I remember reading it (crying) and saying, "okay, I think this is what we're going to do!" (It was one of many little experiences that helped us begin on this journey)
The story is about a mother kangaroo who has an empty pouch and prays everyday for a baby to fill it. She is sitting under a tree one day when a baby bluebird falls out of his nest into her pouch. The bird's mother knew that she couldn't take care of her baby, but that he would be loved. It says that every night after that the baby bluebird and his mom thank God that they found each other. (Tears!)
Although the baby is a boy, you could easily substitute that!
2. God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergen (Harper Collins Publishing)
This book is written by the woman who wrote the popular children's books "God Gave Us You" and "God Gave Us Two". It just came out at the end of 2009. Her books are very sweet and she uses parents telling their kids "their" stories to explain things. She discusses how God brought them together and how they prayed and prayed for their baby to come to them. The child in God Found Us You is a boy, but once again, easily substituted.
3. I Don't Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze (EMK Press)
This is really neat book about how we may look different on the outside, but "in our hearts we are the same". The illustrations suggest that most of the children are a different race than their family, but the words could work for any adoption situation. My favorite lines in the book are, "I don't have you knees...but I have learned your way of giving thanks on mine."
This one has boys and girls in it.
4. Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lynn Curtis (Joanna Cotler Books)
My first introduction to adoption (that I could truly understand and appreciate) probably came when I was 13 or 14 and began babysitting 2 sweet little girls. Their family made it clear that the girls were adopted...and it was no secret or anything to be ashamed of. I loved that about them! They had this book and I read it to them on several occasions. Years later, I found the mother of those girls again and asked her HOW to go about adopting. She has been a source of inspiration and help along the way. I admire their family's approach to talking about adoption, it's one that we will take as well; very open and honest and LOVING.
The little girl in this story asks her parents every night to tell her, again, about the night she was born. They talk about her mom and dad getting the phone call in the middle of the night and flying to get her. The author is very honest about the feelings that come along with all of the "firsts" and the journey to get her baby. I love the illustrations too!
5. The Lambaroo by Diana Kimpton (Gingham Dog Press)
This book is my all time favorite book about adoption. It's a book about our differences and the love that makes us a family. I love it!!! And I think the illustrations are some of the cutest I've ever seen.
*I would highly recommend borrowing books from the library or trying to read excerpts online before purchasing. I have found several books that I have found offensive in the terms they use (like "new mom" and "old mom") or they simply don't relate to our domestic adoptions.
Happy Reading!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Adoption Myths
I realize this is my debut post, and I've been debating whether or not to post this. But in the end I decided this is what I wanted to write about.
Should I introduce myself?
Hi. My name is Deborah, and I'm a mother. My husband and I are completely in love with our little boy, S, who is four months old. He is ours by the miracle of adoption. Before you read anymore of my post, let me warn you that I am a writer. I'm like the person you can't get to keep their mouth shut...only with my fingers. I tend to sometimes be long winded, but I hope what I have to say is worth the endurance of the reader. Cheers!
Before we adopted S, I had no idea the impact the word "adoption" would have on people. Through our journey to find our boy, I discovered a very disheartening truth: there are many negative feelings linked to the word adoption.
So, to dispel some of the myths I have come across during my limited experience, I decided to write this post about adoption myths. To find more, visit Adoption Myths.
Adoption is for people who can't have kids.
This statement seems innocent enough, but it is, in fact, quite horrible. It's true that most adoptions occur because the couple is unsuccessful or unable to get pregnant or have biological children. However, I have met many families that have adopted children as well as had biological children. My own family is an example. My mother gave birth to five of us, and we all knew someone was missing. For years, the question (after a head count) was always, "Who's missing?" It wasn't until six years ago, a few months before I turned 20 and got married, when my little brother was born and brought into our family. Adoption is not only for people who "can't have kids."
Furthermore, it makes it seem like adoption is a second best choice. "Well, I couldn't have kids, so I guess I'll adopt." Which brings us to our next myth.
Adoption is a second rate way to get a baby.
I don't know about you, but the words "get" and "have" grate against my skin like a pumice stone. But that's not the issue here. Adoption is not a second rate way to get a baby, it's a miracle that brings families together.
This is a hard one to explain unless you have adopted or are deeply connected with an adopted child. Let me just say this. No adoptive parent loves their child any less, or considers them any less "theirs" because the child is adopted. We don't know why we are asked to create our families in this way. All we know is that there is a reason, and we may never know it.
Birth mothers are all druggies.
This is simply not true. Birth mothers are brave, courageous women with so much love in their hearts that they sacrifice a life with the child in order to give them something better. I've always loved the quote, "I didn't give him up, I gave him something better." The are unselfish, loving, and strong. Where would most of us be if not for our children's birth mothers?
They come in all shapes and sizes. They can be teenagers who still have a life to live and a little growing up to do. They can be a little older and realize they can't offer the child a family and home like someone else could. S's birth parents are married with three other children and realized from conception that they were not able or meant to raise him. So they did the hard thing and found us.
Birth parents deserve our respect and love.
I could never love someone else's child.
I'm not going to say that I did not have this fear before we adopted. Tyler and I spent many nights discussing this very issue. What if S was born and we realized that we didn't really feel the way we should toward him? What if we had other children...would we love him any less?
In all fairness, I think it's a valid fear, but it is, in fact, a myth. When that child is placed in your arms, they are placed in your heart and soul. They become yours, and you become theirs. When S was still a few days old, I would talk to him in the quiet of my room and say things like, "Mommy loves you." And then, after a moment, I always felt like I had to explain to him who "mommy" was. Because somewhere was a mother who loved him enough to place him with us, but I wanted him to know I was his mommy and I loved him. He didn't need that explanation. He knows better.
I love him with all my heart, and I honestly believe with my whole soul that if I had given birth to him I could not love him any more.
Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, or hinted it to me...I'd be rich I'm sure.
The fact is you or I could very well get pregnant after adopting. It's not impossible if that's what the Lord has in store...but who really knows what the Lord has planned? Is it in his plan for us to get pregnant? I hope so. But if not, I have to be ok with that. It's something I have to come to terms with. And for the most part, I have. But I can tell you it's still a sensitive issue.
I did not adopt so that I could get pregnant. I adopted because Heavenly Father meant for S to travel a different path to our family. So while most people have good intentions when they say this, they have no idea how sad it makes me.
Adoption is easier than pregnancy.
I have never been pregnant, so I cannot say that adoption is easier, or that pregnancy is easier. The fact is there is probably things about both that are easier or harder than the other.
But if you have never adopted, you don't know the baggage that comes along with your child. I could write a book on all the things you have to "deal" with and worry about when you adopt. The fear and the unknown that are your constant companions...not to mention the fact that your child has another mother and another father somewhere. But I won't bore you with the details.
If you are an adoptive parent, or soon-to-be, just realize that someday, someone will make this comment to you. My advice? Chalk it up to ignorance. They simply don't know. Say what you want to defend yourself if you feel it necessary. (I told them that there were parts of pregnancy I wished I had been blessed with, but that I was grateful for the opportunity to take S to the temple.) But don't be too offended.
If you have never adopted and think it's easier than pregnancy, please don't say anything. You will most likely just hurt someone's feelings in the process.
Adoption is a fix-all.
Most couples don't get married and say, "Oh, I think we'll adopt now." There is usually some level of infertility treatment or medical testing and such that goes along with the choice of adoption. And along with those treatments and testing comes heartache and pain.
Just because we now have a son does not mean our hearts don't ache for our other children. I am still sometimes saddened when I realize I'm not pregnant and so-and-so is. It sometimes takes me a moment or two to realize that I have blessings aplenty and I just need to be grateful. Truly, I did not understand this until after we adopted S. I honestly thought it would be "all better" after we adopted. My life has meaning, and I have the greatest blessing ever given: that of motherhood. But somewhere inside me, I'm still reminded of the fact that things didn't go the way I planned, and that is sometimes hard. Indeed, I think I surprised and maybe bothered a few people when they realized that everything was not "fixed."
Be patient with adoptive mothers who express continued sadness over their "loss" of not being able to bear children. It's programmed within us to have that desire, and it's not a bad thing. We all deal with it a little differently. And just because we get a little sad sometimes, doesn't mean we are ungrateful for our children. Our miracles.
And mothers...be of good cheer! We do have our miracles! And we will continue to have them as long as the Lord sees fit, for he is truly mindful of us all.
Should I introduce myself?
Hi. My name is Deborah, and I'm a mother. My husband and I are completely in love with our little boy, S, who is four months old. He is ours by the miracle of adoption. Before you read anymore of my post, let me warn you that I am a writer. I'm like the person you can't get to keep their mouth shut...only with my fingers. I tend to sometimes be long winded, but I hope what I have to say is worth the endurance of the reader. Cheers!
Before we adopted S, I had no idea the impact the word "adoption" would have on people. Through our journey to find our boy, I discovered a very disheartening truth: there are many negative feelings linked to the word adoption.
So, to dispel some of the myths I have come across during my limited experience, I decided to write this post about adoption myths. To find more, visit Adoption Myths.
Adoption is for people who can't have kids.
This statement seems innocent enough, but it is, in fact, quite horrible. It's true that most adoptions occur because the couple is unsuccessful or unable to get pregnant or have biological children. However, I have met many families that have adopted children as well as had biological children. My own family is an example. My mother gave birth to five of us, and we all knew someone was missing. For years, the question (after a head count) was always, "Who's missing?" It wasn't until six years ago, a few months before I turned 20 and got married, when my little brother was born and brought into our family. Adoption is not only for people who "can't have kids."
Furthermore, it makes it seem like adoption is a second best choice. "Well, I couldn't have kids, so I guess I'll adopt." Which brings us to our next myth.
Adoption is a second rate way to get a baby.
I don't know about you, but the words "get" and "have" grate against my skin like a pumice stone. But that's not the issue here. Adoption is not a second rate way to get a baby, it's a miracle that brings families together.
This is a hard one to explain unless you have adopted or are deeply connected with an adopted child. Let me just say this. No adoptive parent loves their child any less, or considers them any less "theirs" because the child is adopted. We don't know why we are asked to create our families in this way. All we know is that there is a reason, and we may never know it.
Birth mothers are all druggies.
This is simply not true. Birth mothers are brave, courageous women with so much love in their hearts that they sacrifice a life with the child in order to give them something better. I've always loved the quote, "I didn't give him up, I gave him something better." The are unselfish, loving, and strong. Where would most of us be if not for our children's birth mothers?
They come in all shapes and sizes. They can be teenagers who still have a life to live and a little growing up to do. They can be a little older and realize they can't offer the child a family and home like someone else could. S's birth parents are married with three other children and realized from conception that they were not able or meant to raise him. So they did the hard thing and found us.
Birth parents deserve our respect and love.
I could never love someone else's child.
I'm not going to say that I did not have this fear before we adopted. Tyler and I spent many nights discussing this very issue. What if S was born and we realized that we didn't really feel the way we should toward him? What if we had other children...would we love him any less?
In all fairness, I think it's a valid fear, but it is, in fact, a myth. When that child is placed in your arms, they are placed in your heart and soul. They become yours, and you become theirs. When S was still a few days old, I would talk to him in the quiet of my room and say things like, "Mommy loves you." And then, after a moment, I always felt like I had to explain to him who "mommy" was. Because somewhere was a mother who loved him enough to place him with us, but I wanted him to know I was his mommy and I loved him. He didn't need that explanation. He knows better.
I love him with all my heart, and I honestly believe with my whole soul that if I had given birth to him I could not love him any more.
Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, or hinted it to me...I'd be rich I'm sure.
The fact is you or I could very well get pregnant after adopting. It's not impossible if that's what the Lord has in store...but who really knows what the Lord has planned? Is it in his plan for us to get pregnant? I hope so. But if not, I have to be ok with that. It's something I have to come to terms with. And for the most part, I have. But I can tell you it's still a sensitive issue.
I did not adopt so that I could get pregnant. I adopted because Heavenly Father meant for S to travel a different path to our family. So while most people have good intentions when they say this, they have no idea how sad it makes me.
Adoption is easier than pregnancy.
I have never been pregnant, so I cannot say that adoption is easier, or that pregnancy is easier. The fact is there is probably things about both that are easier or harder than the other.
But if you have never adopted, you don't know the baggage that comes along with your child. I could write a book on all the things you have to "deal" with and worry about when you adopt. The fear and the unknown that are your constant companions...not to mention the fact that your child has another mother and another father somewhere. But I won't bore you with the details.
If you are an adoptive parent, or soon-to-be, just realize that someday, someone will make this comment to you. My advice? Chalk it up to ignorance. They simply don't know. Say what you want to defend yourself if you feel it necessary. (I told them that there were parts of pregnancy I wished I had been blessed with, but that I was grateful for the opportunity to take S to the temple.) But don't be too offended.
If you have never adopted and think it's easier than pregnancy, please don't say anything. You will most likely just hurt someone's feelings in the process.
Adoption is a fix-all.
Most couples don't get married and say, "Oh, I think we'll adopt now." There is usually some level of infertility treatment or medical testing and such that goes along with the choice of adoption. And along with those treatments and testing comes heartache and pain.
Just because we now have a son does not mean our hearts don't ache for our other children. I am still sometimes saddened when I realize I'm not pregnant and so-and-so is. It sometimes takes me a moment or two to realize that I have blessings aplenty and I just need to be grateful. Truly, I did not understand this until after we adopted S. I honestly thought it would be "all better" after we adopted. My life has meaning, and I have the greatest blessing ever given: that of motherhood. But somewhere inside me, I'm still reminded of the fact that things didn't go the way I planned, and that is sometimes hard. Indeed, I think I surprised and maybe bothered a few people when they realized that everything was not "fixed."
Be patient with adoptive mothers who express continued sadness over their "loss" of not being able to bear children. It's programmed within us to have that desire, and it's not a bad thing. We all deal with it a little differently. And just because we get a little sad sometimes, doesn't mean we are ungrateful for our children. Our miracles.
And mothers...be of good cheer! We do have our miracles! And we will continue to have them as long as the Lord sees fit, for he is truly mindful of us all.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Reviews
When shopping for something adoption related, I think it would be great to have a guide to follow. If it is books that I'm interested in, I usually order them through the library (if my local library doesn't have a copy available) and check them out before buying them. I once had a VERY long list of books (mostly children's books) that I wanted to read, but I have narrowed my favorites down quite a bit. I am going to write my own little reviews on some and tell you why I love the ones that I do. This list will be ongoing, I'm sure and keep in mind that it is only my opinion...
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A New Voice
After much twisting of the arm (just kidding) my best friend has agreed to be a contributor to this blog. She recently adopted a sweet baby boy and has gracefully navigated this journey, the ups, downs and in betweens of adoption. She is incredible, I admire and love her and am excited to hear what she has to say!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Haven't Met You Yet
A friend told me recently that she misses me updating this blog. Thank you "M", I miss it too.
I am in love with this song, Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble. You can't help but feel happy when you hear it. I was listening to the words today and thought that ironically, it sounds like it was written for an parent waiting for their child!
I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
Talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
(Chorus)
And I know someday it'll all work out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.
I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.
(Chorus)
They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and
We'll be united.
And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you kid, I'll give more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet!
Thinking of this song, in that context, put a huge smile on my face. We do all that we can to get our children here. I have to remember that "It'll all work out!" AND that someone HAS met them, Our Father in Heaven. He knows them and He knows us. "We'll get it right and we'll be united."
I am in love with this song, Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble. You can't help but feel happy when you hear it. I was listening to the words today and thought that ironically, it sounds like it was written for an parent waiting for their child!
I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
Talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
(Chorus)
And I know someday it'll all work out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.
I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.
(Chorus)
They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and
We'll be united.
And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you kid, I'll give more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet!
Thinking of this song, in that context, put a huge smile on my face. We do all that we can to get our children here. I have to remember that "It'll all work out!" AND that someone HAS met them, Our Father in Heaven. He knows them and He knows us. "We'll get it right and we'll be united."
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Magic
I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted last!
November is National Adoption Month! Now that our adoptions are final and we are not "looking" for our Miracles, but enjoying them, I find that adoption isn't constantly at the front of my mind. With both of my girls, I forget that I did not give birth to them and feel like they've always been a part of me. The only difference (besides the fact that I didn't give birth) is that our family has grown by several people, not just the addition of a baby. In both cases we added another set of grandparents or 2, some aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course, our remarkable birth parents.
Now that we have finalized our adoptions, there is great relief and it's time to simply "be" as a family. We discuss adoption often as a family and it's not something that will ever be hidden, like it's shameful, because it's NOT shameful.
As we discuss adoption, our 2 year old is beginning to grasp the concept. This week we had a very long, very neat conversation about adoption. My 2 year old told me how happy she was to be in our home and she actually said that "it's not a mistake." I had no idea she even knew that word and the entire conversation left me speechless with tears in my eyes.
Our second daughter is 4 and half months old. She is pure joy and such a happy baby. There is something about the bond that I have with her that is magic. When she looks at me, it's like she KNOWS, just like our 2 year old knows, just like my husband and I know, that we are a FAMILY. Forever. We were meant to be together. I am their mommy, they are my sweet girls. We have been so blessed to be touched by adoption and I'm so grateful to now be enjoying my miracles.
November is National Adoption Month! Now that our adoptions are final and we are not "looking" for our Miracles, but enjoying them, I find that adoption isn't constantly at the front of my mind. With both of my girls, I forget that I did not give birth to them and feel like they've always been a part of me. The only difference (besides the fact that I didn't give birth) is that our family has grown by several people, not just the addition of a baby. In both cases we added another set of grandparents or 2, some aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course, our remarkable birth parents.
Now that we have finalized our adoptions, there is great relief and it's time to simply "be" as a family. We discuss adoption often as a family and it's not something that will ever be hidden, like it's shameful, because it's NOT shameful.
As we discuss adoption, our 2 year old is beginning to grasp the concept. This week we had a very long, very neat conversation about adoption. My 2 year old told me how happy she was to be in our home and she actually said that "it's not a mistake." I had no idea she even knew that word and the entire conversation left me speechless with tears in my eyes.
Our second daughter is 4 and half months old. She is pure joy and such a happy baby. There is something about the bond that I have with her that is magic. When she looks at me, it's like she KNOWS, just like our 2 year old knows, just like my husband and I know, that we are a FAMILY. Forever. We were meant to be together. I am their mommy, they are my sweet girls. We have been so blessed to be touched by adoption and I'm so grateful to now be enjoying my miracles.
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